Letter to a very good friend

I'm sharing this letter here because I feel it will help people other than me and the addressee. If you have friends you feel could benefit from this, please refer them to it. If you have no friends, I'll be your friend and you can refer it to me if you want, but I have already seen it...

I'm going to say: To my Sweetheart,
because, under all the layers of asshole, you do have a sweet heart. So you may no longer be my sweetheart in the cute, 1950s "going steady" way, but my point still stands.

I miss you.

You know, since you went away, before we broke up, I've just wanted a kiss so bad. Just a kiss. I was telling myself, "Just a week or so. He'll be home. You'll get your kiss." But then disaster. You're stubborn and arrogant, I'm stubborn and have an absolutely flaming temper. With this combination, we're broken up, yet again, but this time for good. So I'm sitting here wondering if I'll ever be kissed again, you know I don't want to kiss someone I don't love.

Tempers cool. I stop swearing at you in every text message and every phone call, and you stop calling me names (most of which aren't even applicable, I don't do that!). You ask if you can be my friend, and I'm so glad you asked because it means I don't have to (it would have been embarrassing for me, after I told you to get the f'k out of my life... Sorry about that). That's what I wanted when I first met you, your friendship, with the future possibility of kisses.
You ask if you can call, and I say yes. You're so supportive and sweet. You build me up instead of tearing me down. You offer advice when I feel lost. Every time I talk to you, you're seeming more and more like the wonderful man I fell in love with. Good one, you giant retarded butt-monkey!!!!!

That message I sent you last night, please disregard. I was listening to stupid soppy love songs at the time, and they made me remember I miss you. I tried to fix it by listening to the "Dirty Dancing" soundtrack, but that just reminded me that people die, which made things worse. Sorry. I know we probably could get back together, and it would be beautiful for a while. We'd smile and laugh and love each other, we'd say and do nice and beautiful things, but one day I'd irritate you and you'd be a bastard and I'd end up ripping your lungs out and feeding them to my cat.

I think we both know I'll probably end up with a girl one day, anyway. Even you must have noticed by now, boys SUCK!

I can't write anymore for two reasons: 1) The tears in my eyes are making it hard to see and 2) I'm writing with a permanent marker, and the fumes are starting to make me dizzy.

I want to sign this "Love from your Blossom", but I can't.
I will say
Signed with love, in some way, for always,
The Pretty Kitty.

PS- I found my sewing kit and I'm still willing to sew up those pants for you. I can't find them. If you threw them out, you're a wanker, they were just torn, not ruined. If you didn't, disregard.