I live with my uncle now.

It may not be a creative title, but it's the truth. No, you freaks! Not that sort of uncle! My actual uncle; my mother's brother. It's... interesting. At least there is no secret meat. I'm not on the Gold Coast at the moment, anyway, I'm in Maryborough, visiting my Mum and that guy she's married to. Ok, he's my Dad. I have an interesting relationship with my father. I don't dislike him, but sometimes it's like trying to be friends with a potato. A really stupid potato that moves my stuff without asking, and then forgets where he put it.
My Uncle is exactly the same, but the opposite... He keeps the box to absolutely every appliance he buys so he can put everything in its own original box if he moves house or if the Secret Toaster Police come around or some such thing. I dunno. I took one look at the pile of boxes and I quit. I just plain quit. The boxes may not be flattened. They are all box-shaped, full of air and in my way. Don't touch the empty boxes, whatever you do! Also, don't touch the garden! The land lord weeds the garden twice a year. That's right, two times every year, so there's no need for you to weed the garden! Never mind that you go outside completely devoid of vegetation upon your person and end up a vector for about seven kinds of seeds, you don't need to pull the weeds up, the land lord will do it in three month's time!
"Did you wash my mug?" My uncle asked me the other day. "Yes." I said, "I wanted to know what colour it was." Honest to God, that mug had not been washed in over TEN YEARS! I bleached it. I plan to bleach it once-per-month.
I like, love, the area where I'm living now, though. I walk across the highway and then down a few metres and I'm at one of the most beautiful wave beaches in the world. Stunning! And, of course, owing to my dream to one day live in the ocean, I do so love that location! I seem to be in a very '!' mood tonight. It may be because it's just after 3AM? We may never know the truth, but be sure the truth is out there... wait, I don't have to pay copyright to use that line, do I!?
I'm also near a great shopping centre with everything, including a place that sells kitchen sinks.
But for now I'm in Maryborough. It's Christmas time, and so I will be with my family. For the first time in about 14 years, my mother and both of her brothers will have Christmas together. My Dad is home from work (he works on an oil rig in the desert) and I've come up from the Gold Coast, so we will be having a family Christmas! My Mum's brother (the one I don't live with, not in any way potato like) in camped in my parent's back yard in his tent. He's been here for about a week already. Tonight he drove down to the Gold Coast, and on Monday night he will return with his brother. That's the other thing about my uncle. He doesn't drive, (well, neither do I), but he won't take the train like a normal person, even though the train is less than half the cost of his brother making a round-trip to drive him... POTATO MAN!
I'm gonna go put stuff on ebay now, then I'm going to bed, coz the sun'll be up real soon!

Signed with love,
The Pretty Kitty.